I do a lot of things really well- but among the top ranks is something I never had to work for- it just came naturally to me – worrying.
I am an expert worrier. I know it comes from growing up with my parents ridiculous hypothetical stresses and although I am not quite there yet… I am aware of what the future holds, no matter how hard I fight it. I worry about everything.
Lately I am worried about my single girlfriends. I have a number of them- and they are awesome. Each one feisty, smart, unique, hot, and incredible in their own way. I am not worried because I feel as though the only way to find happiness is through finding the perfect partner- but many of them are working at doing that- or at least find some people to have the occasional dinner and a romp with.
One tool that almost all of them have used at one time or another is tinder. (I am not going to lie, taking over someone’s tinder and spending 15 minutes swiping right and left is pretty entertaining for a married woman with two kids. It’s fun, it’s quick, it’s like angry birds with human heads.) It worries me.
It worries me because when I think of some of my most quality single friends who would be amazing partners- their tinder profile likely wouldn’t be one to swipe in the favourable direction. Haven’t you ever met someone who didn’t initially turn your crank only to find them attractive and cute after getting to know them a bit? That’s the best, no?
It worries me because it is so easy. In the span of 15 minutes someone is able to make multiple connections and be chatting to a handful of potential suitors… Who don’t have to do ANYTHING!! They likely have their one or two go to chat lines to hook you, and then you’re off to the races. No real effort, no actual chemistry- just random ad-hoc get togethers. Real relationships are hard!! I fear that the ease of this app is setting people up for unrealistic ideas of a relationship.
It worries me because it creates a feeling of “there’s always something better”… Like if you settle for one person, and you don’t keep looking you are missing out. Instead of living life, doing the things you love and then running into someone you feel connected with and giving it a go- thousands (millions maybe?) are sitting at home swiping and judging high volumes of people by their profile pictures.
I worry because with the volume of people meeting up, chatting, hooking up, whatever… After each one that doesn’t turn into “the one” that my girlfriends seem more and more defeated. They feel more and more lonely, and then turn back to the quick companionship of the swiping and chatting.
I am happy I am no longer on the dating scene, and that the only swiping I know is on Dora the explorer- but I worry about my incredible single friends. I know technology is here to stay but I also wish that there was some way to filter through the duds, or those just looking for hookups. If hookups are what you want- by all means, swipe away- but for those looking for more… I just worry.