I have spent the last 3 years in a bit of a daze, wearing the same 3 outfits, my undergarments are worn and all kind of that same colour between white and yellow, and I sometimes in the morning knowingly throw on “mom jeans” and don’t really care- I gotta say, I like being a mom.
This post is a dedication to all of the Mothers out there- whether you had a baby through your vagina or a c-section, your kid came out of someone else, you act as a mother figure to any human, you carried a baby that didn’t survive, you have lost a child, or you are longing to be a mother sooo badly- this post is for you.
Today my partner came up and gave me a back massage (it was short, but magnificent) while I was playing on the ground with our two children. He asked me what I loved most about being a mom (and jokingly asked me to leave out the sleep deprivation). I answered quickly, but since then have been thinking about the question a lot. Here are my top 5:
1. THE CLUB: How you instantly feel part of this really cool club. Like last week I was at this Sunday afternoon gathering with a bunch of kids, and one of the kids went from little darling to a total shithead in 1 sec after a toy he was playing with “broke” (aka he smashed it). The mom was like, “so sorry, he didn’t nap,” I think I gave her a dorky wink and said something like, “oh don’t you worry, we know all about that”. And smiled… But you know what, she got it. Next time when its my kid, there will be another mom who will understand what we are going through. It creates a collection of people who just get it.
2. THE CLOTHES: I no longer obsess about what I look like. I used to watch What not to wear religiously, and would see woman after woman share the same story, “I had kids, and I didn’t really have time to go shopping for myself anymore”… And man, did I judge them. I thought I would never be THAT mom- how could you let it go THAT far… Well, I totally get it, and you know what else, I am kind of ok with it!! I also really don’t have the time to do good quality shopping. I am in the mode of get something that does up, and remotely works for breastfeeding and is affordable. Eventually when I go back to work, I think I will try a little harder, but for now, I have more important things to worry about, and I think that’s ok.
3. THE CONNECTIONS: Watching my kids interact with other people. I find it fascinating to watch my kids interact with others. Whether they are fighting, laughing, playing, serious, or fun, I find it really cool to see them having a life outside of us. It reminds me that my biggest job is to get them ready for that, and make them feel loved along the way.
4. THE SHITTY: I love how some days are so shitty. Like every convo is a battle, every minute feels like an hour, and you really think “how can I be getting owned by a 3 year old right now?”… But then right before bed your kid says something super cute about how much they love you or something magical they witnessed in the day… Or they don’t say anything but they go to bed and then the house is so quiet and awesome for you to take a shit or watch a show. That’s sweet.
5. THE AWESOME: The empathy that comes along with it- sometimes can be frightening… The news is never the same again after you have kids, and imagining any major crisis with a child can bring you to tears… But it also makes us better people. It makes us the type of people that know how to show up for others in our own way. Not all of us are good with words, or make great food… But it forces us to find our own way to support and show up for others. This for sure makes the world a better place.
So hats off to you, “Mothers” everywhere- Because if you are reading this, or even if you are not- I am certain you are doing a marvellous job at raising incredible kids. Happy Mothers Day!
What’s your favourite part of being a mama?